When searching for a therapist, one of the most important points about which to inquire is whether or not the professional you are considering working with has worked his/her own individual therapy. If you ask whether he/she has ever been in therapy and he/she cannot give you a definitive "yes," keep searching.

In addition, examine what type of solution you desire. Would you like some immediate relief from the stressor(s), after which the conflict may return? Or would you like to look at the root of why the issue generates stress for you in the first place? If you are looking for some relief, you will look for a therapist who operates from a Behavioral perspective. If you are looking for insight and to deal with the roots of the issue(s), then you will look for a therapist who operates from a more analytic perspective.

If you conceptualize a continuum with these two perspectives on each end, you would find my style of therapy about a quarter of the way up from the analytic end, called Object Relations theory. You see, the first several years I was in practice, my work was based in a Cognitive-Behavioral perspective, which would be about a quarter of the way down from the Behavioral end of this continuum. This is what my master's level work originally trained me to do. However, I had the same clients returning for treatment, for the exact same issue(s) that originally brought them in for treatment. And while I was grateful that they would return to a place where they felt emotionally safe by working with me, I had a huge ethical dilemma. I concluded that I was not willing to offer short-term solutions to issues that would eventually resurface later in life--seemingly with the same intensity for my former clients who were returning for the same treatment.

Thus, I began to look around to study more about this continuum that I asked you to imagine just now. And I intentionally pursued more education that would equip me to work with clients in dealing with the roots of issues, not just the behavioral manifestation. This led to my doctoral work in Marriage & Family Therapy, specifically applying Object Relations theory to the entire family system. This equipped me to address issues about a quarter of the way up from the analytic end of this continuum. And clients report significant improvement on the deeper issues of life. And while they may return for a session or two after the bulk of their work, we build on the work that they have already done, not starting from scratch again. This is far more congruent with my ethics and wanting to offer insight and healing for people.